I had a very "not ok" pregnancy and labour with my first baby - Hunter. At 34 weeks I developed PIH and lost my chance to have a home birth. I was induced at 37 weeks against my wishes because of my blood pressure and after three attempts with Prostin Gel I finally started into active labour... as soon as we moved to the hospital I stalled, however there was a rip in my bag of waters so I was on the clock... 34 hours later (50 hours in total) I had to have a c-section birth... I was devastated.. I felt like a failure immediately.. I don't even remember Hunter's birth.. holding him the first time, seeing him during those first few hours.. it's all lost to fatigue and starvation...
However, my labour with Lacey and her birth were a completely different story.. so here it is...
Lacey Suzanne was born on January 18, 2005 at 04:35 hrs. I had had prelabour for about five weeks off and on... I was tired of the start and stop and had posted on the Midwifery Today forum asking how to safely enourage my baby to come out... lol Everyone there reminded me that babies choose their own birthdays and to just relax and trust my body. At my midwife's appointment on the 17th (41weeks 1 day) I asked them to do an internal to check dilation and to do a quick sweep. I was 2cm easily stretching to 3cm and it didn't hurt at all.
We left the midwife's office and went for a long walk. Then my husband and I left Hunter at our home with Grandma and did a quick grocery shop on our own, enjoying being alone together for the first time in a long time. At dinner my back was aching badly, I had a glass of wine and used the magic bean bag warmed up against my back. I left the table at 8:30pm and headed for a nice warm bath thinking this was just more prelabour stuff. In the tub I noticed my contractions were about 9 minutes apart, but again felt it really wasn't that painful or regular. I climbed into bed with hubby and Hunter just before 10pm, right away I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. I told hubby I would get Hunter down and then get up and see if moving changed anything. I told Hunter that I thought I might be having the baby that night and that hopefully when he woke up in the morning we would have his little sister or brother... I know he heard what I was saying.
When I got up just after 10pm I went to the bathroom and had some show. I went back and told hubby that I thought I really was in labour but that he should sleep for a while, I would get him when I needed him. I called our Doula and gave her a "heads up" for about the sixth time in the last four weeks.. she suggested that I call our midwife too, at this point the contractions were speeding up to about 3-5 minutes apart and getting a little more serious. By 11pm when I spoke with Jennesse my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and I didn't want her to come yet, I thought I would be 12 hours or more in labour and I wasn't sure I really was in serious labour yet... however we had had some flooding in our area and she was concerned about having enough time to get to us.. smart midwife!! By the time I got off the phone with Jennesse my next contraction was a doozy and I called our Doula back and said "ok, I'm serious and I need you". I got hubby out of bed too.. and got him to start timing me.
By midnight everyone was here.. we had our Doula, our midwife - Jennesse and our midwife in training - Susan. I laboured down stairs for a while, had one vag check (4-5 cms) and within the hour asked to go to the bathtub. We have a lovely old claw foot cast iron tub which was wonderful. Very quickly after I got in the tub I felt "pushy". My waters broke in the tub with a great "pop", it was an amazing feeling. Baby was doing well in the tub and I was happy too... after a while it was suggested that I get out to have a pee... while on the toilet our baby had some decels so midwives wanted me in the bedroom to see if we could get me into a better position for the baby.
Hubby moved Hunter from our bed to the spare bed with Grandma, this room is right beside the bathroom and we have paper thin walls. Hunter was a champ and slept right through my entire labour, it was like he knew it was ok, mommy was just having her baby, sniff sniff.
I somehow got to the bedroom and ended up on hands and knees on the side our bed (mattress on floor). The baby seemed to be doing much better and the decels stopped. However Jennesse was concerned about the amount of show I was still having and was worried there was a cervix lip I was pushing against... she asked if they could do another internal and I can't remember now if they did or not. I knew the baby was only a couple off inches of my perineum at that point, I could feel exactly where she was... however she wasn't moving very quickly down and hands and knees wasn't helping. I was having a difficult time talking at this point and really felt like I went "within".. this was a completely different experience from my labour with Hunter where I felt completely outside and needed a lot of outside support and feedback.
I flopped around on the bed in a few different positions before I ended up in a supported sitting position with help with my legs. She finally came down and started to pop out, however she was having intermittent decels again, with one contraction and then not with the next. I think (I don't know for sure) that she sat on my perineum for over an hour. Our midwives were just about to do an episiotomy when one of them put some pressure on me instead and I tore and she popped out. Hubby had been asking if the episiotomy could wait, I couldn't talk but I didn't care what happened I just wanted her out.. although the idea of them cutting me with scissors was making me very nauseous.. I almost did throw up at that point.
I only "freaked" out a couple of times during the whole labour and overall it was an amazing, empowering experience. I felt that our baby was fine during the whole labour, I never was worried about her. I was worried about me, I was scared that my body couldn't really be doing this.. that somehow it was going to fail me and I was going to have to go to the hospital. It took me completely by surprise that I started labour at 9pm and she was born by 4:30am.
When she finally popped out they put her on my chest. I finally peaked down and saw what I thought was a baby boy, however on further inspection a penis could not be found and she was declared 100% female. We waited until the cord stopped pulsing and then clamped and cut. Our placenta was huge and felt like birthing another baby, however not a 10lb baby!! She latched on well right away and has been a nursing champ ever since. She had some breathing problems for the first couple of hours - breathing too quickly but it all calmed down by 7:30am and the midwives were allowed to finally go home.
I knew that she was a little crooked before I went into labour, I also knew that I would probably tear as I had had venereal warts when I was a teenager and had some scar tissue on my perineum from the cryno-therapy. I was prepared to tear that way, however the tear at top next to my urethra outwards and upwards has been very painful and uncomfortable with zings and zangs.
Lacey has been a perfect angel baby ever since we've had her. Hunter and hubby have been very sick with the flu and teething (Hunter not hubby, hehehe) every since her birth so it's been a little crazy with that. However, she sleeps at least one five hour stretch at night which is awesome, usually stays asleep all night except to nurse. Loves being cuddled in the sling or on my chest and never fusses much if she's there.
Hunter is doing very well being the big brother and is very kind and concerned with her. He has 99% weaned himself since her birth, although he reserves the right to have "snackies" if he wants.. I'm sad that he's weaned, however, I'm glad he's done it on his own time schedule...
I can't thank our midwives and our Doula enough for all their love and support. I really needed this birth experience after Hunter's birth. It's so nice to cry tears of joy and love while writing and reading this instead of tears of pain and frustration and loss when I think about Hunter's birth. I have learned a lot from this pregnancy and birth, I would like to be a doula and maybe a midwife one day when our children are older. Both of my birth experiences are valuable and have lessons for me to learn from them... I am a better person for having them... I feel so lucky to have two healthy amazing children and to be blessed with such a beautiful and healing birth experience with Lacey is just icing on my cake!! Thank you so much Jennesse, Susan and J, you are so loved and appreciated and I am so thankful that you were able to help me birth our baby "our way". It was the perfect birth experience for me.. I wouldn't change one thing.
Thank god for home births...
Love and hugs,
Michelle
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